Monday, November 02, 2009

Aha...

I can smell the stress, maybe partly because Convent is just behind my house?

Yeah maybe. Girls get stress way way easier compared to guys.

So, yes.

SPM and STPM.

You hear talking about it, eating and talking at the same time about it, sleep talking about it. Basically, it's just everywhere in a sense.

16 days more as i am typing this. Maybe tomorrow when i go school, i go change the countdown thing to 51 days instead of 15 days! Haha! Should be fun. I am leaving SJM soon. Want to leave some 'good' impression.

On a serious note, in these 16 days. Much can be done, although not as much. One thing, Faith. Basically, that's what i really need. I don't know if being able to be 'cool' or not that stress during exam season is a gift, but if it is a gift. Then yeah, i think i have it. It's good because, erm, not so stress. It's not good because i don't seem to see the seriousness of this SPM (Should add an 'a' into. SPAM!). But i have seen God's goodness and faithfulness through this short 17 years of my life. And it is those things that keep me going. I am not tired or stress, i am just bored and a little bit restless. Rest? I think i rest too much! Haha!

But at same time, i really just can't wait for graduation and December. Man, i am gonna be playing drums and jamming that whole month. Should be awesome. Have been practicing to some new drum fills and stuff.

Let's keep going. SPM is nothing but a few piece of papers with our futures written on it. Wait, not really. God writes our future. Not SPM.



'I do not aim to do great, but i aim to do my best'

_John_

John said what he wants;
12:34 PM

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Last thursday, i went for this MPPPU dinner thing (How many P's are there actually?).

Went because i am in the band with Sean.

Went at about 8.50 pm like that with Zhi Howe, but we were a little bit too early. So we went to Mary Brown to yumcha, missed that place actually.

About 9.30 pm like that, Sean's band was up.

Felt kinda funny for me, i didn't really lift up my head during the whole set. Partly because i barely know anyone there! Let alone the teachers there. But i am glad that everyone's attention was on Sean. He did great man especially the dancing. The video will be up soon i guess.

So after the performance, i left after about 10 minutes. Felt like a ninja, sneaking in and sneaking out. Hehe.

But it was fun, great experience. I could have done better actually. But fun! Now am waiting for the year end Christmas thing.

But now, SPM first! 23 days more! Yes!Finally!But i am not ready yet. Hahaha.

40 plus days to finishing school. Really excited about it.

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So, tomorrow.

For the first, i will be playing in front of an audience that i really really don't know.

An audience filled with STK school teachers and form6 students.

Yes, you can say that i am the only outsider there.

To fill you guys in, i am playing in one of the bands that will be performing at the MPPU dinner tomorrow night. Everyone in the band is a STK student except me.

But it will be a good experience. To play in front of an audience i don't know.

Plus, my buddy Sean is dancing man!

I am doing this as favor to him actually, not to the school. Just to be clear.

So, pretty excited about it.

Going to put my stick twirl into use.

Gonna enjoy myself on stage. Its an awesome feeling.

But this is still for God, every appearance on stage whether in church or wherever. It's still for God. And it will be always for God.

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The dvd pre-order started last month on the 21st.

But due to some reason, my dad's credit card can't go through..Hmm..I am gonna try it again tonight, maybe i did something wrong in the process.

But anyway, if i can't get it. Can someone help me out?

Its about 45 USD, so it's about 150 ringgit.

I am really really desperate for this dvd. I really believe that it is going to help me in my drumming. And i also plan to lend it to other drummers as well. It's gonna a great help to us.

So pleasssssssseeeeeeeeeee....

I will pay you back every single cent =D

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Persecution

In my face,
That's disgrace.
I used to think that this is a new phase.


But i guess,
It will all go to waste.
Things to say, things to be done.
But it will all be undone.


Trying to be different yet,
Convicted by indifference.
Trying to selfless yet,
Convicted by selfishness.


I am really not trying to state a point.
But even if i do,
What's the point?


Misunderstood as far it would.
Trying to make things change but it will not move.


Please, learn to let go so that you will know.

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Sometimes i really don't understand people (Well, not everyone),

Try my best to least talk to them but i seems to be ignored.

Am i too sensitive or am i just..I don't know.


Anyway,

40+ days to SPM.

I try to worry. Haha.

I am really looking forward to the holidays after that. Christmas!Should be awesome man. Christmas eve in Dataran Taman Tasik.

I don't know whether i should do form 6 also.

I know my abilities. I don't want to end up suffering over it. And worst of all, regret.

Now,

I just push forward and do my best.

I just want to get done with this SPM and move on.

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Most of you know that i really really really love drums. Literally.

When i first got to know about drumming 3 years ago, i literally fell in love with it.

I think about it.

I listen to songs just to get the drums parts.

I practice.

I go to the net to find videos that can help me.



Now,


3 years later,

I am in the band. Yeah, but i actually expect more out of my skills if you ask me.

You see, this passion for drumming in me is really just huge. I believe that God place this in me for a purpose. To serve him, to drum for him. To being to create sounds not just noise. To be a blessing. But i want to give Him the best. I know its about playing for the audience of One and the heart and all of that. I know. But what i am struggling now is that. IT IS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Or rather i am just not good enough. Making simple and ridiculous mistakes. Well, i guess i don't like to mistakes when it comes to drumming.

But i need to learn to make mistakes.

Cause it helps in my drumming and in my life. Learn to mistakes = Moving on.

I know God is pleased with what i give Him. The heart not the skills.

Its a choice to make.

To feel terrible or to learn from it.

I will make the right choice.

Drumming will always be a part of me until i grow old.

And i will be the best i can be!


'Every drummer is different. Every drummer drums to their own beat but not every drummer knows what they are drumming for.'

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